I may be a grown-up but I am no stranger to taking naps. Some days I’m just tired and need to lay myself down on the couch for a little while. I’ve taken many a nap on the bus ride into NYC both before and after a work day.

A normal nap for me is half an hour to forty five minutes and I usually have the TV on while I nap. Yet I never have the TV on or play music when I go to sleep for the night. Naps and a night’s sleep are just two different things.

I usually wake up refreshed and ready to go when I get up from a nap. But today I had one of those naps that sneaks up on a person. The kind it is tough to get up from. The kind where I didn’t even know I was so tired.

I had finished eating lunch and was getting back to working on a drawing when I felt like lying down for a bit. I channel surfed and found something to sleep to then lay my head down. An hour went by in an instant and I woke in a total fog of barely perceived reality. I crashed on the couch for another hour dozing in and out of consciousness. I just couldn’t get up. I was a lot more tired than I ever thought I was. It was a true power nap though it was the nap that had the power.

Napping on the bus is a totally different story. It is the most unrefreshing nap there is. A lot of times it is a total necessity because I have to get up early to catch the bus and there is never enough time to sleep on those days. Coming home I have boarded the bus at the Port Authority bus station and have been asleep before it even leaves the terminal. The problem with bus naps is that most of the time I will wake up feeling more tired than before. It can be a deep sleep but not a very restful one. Of course not sleeping can be even worse. The morning bus nap is usually better than the evening bus nap but not always. It can be especially weird when waking up briefly in the middle of a bus nap and not knowing if I am coming or going. Scary stuff if you think your day is ending and it is really just beginning but a relief the other way around. Busses can just be evil and that is all there is to it. We need more trains. I find them more comfortable. Well, maybe not the NYC subway.

The most disorienting kind of nap is the winter evening kind. Those are the ones where I go to sleep when is light out and awake in the dark. I wake up and don’t even know if it is 7 PM or 3 AM. It totally messes with my body clock and I won’t be able to fall asleep at any reasonable hour after that. I haven’t experienced one of those naps in a long time because I refuse to take a late evening nap anymore. Even in the summer. If I am so tired that I can’t get anything done I’ll just sit there and wait for bedtime. At least the next day I’ll wake up refreshed. Sometimes you have to sacrifice today for tomorrow’s sake.

When I nap I lie down on the couch and have the TV on. Most often I choose the History Channel or some such station that shows documentaries. Docs have an even tone and no loud music or explosions to wake me up. Preferably it is also a program that I have seen before so I won’t be too interested in it. But sometimes I need something special. A few weeks ago I came home in the afternoon absolutely tired. I needed a nap but I was a little wired and couldn’t settle down. Being tired and wired sucks but that is an observation for a future blog. Anyway, the usual TV shows were no help because I couldn’t concentrate enough to settle down and the commercials were just winding me up. I find commercials annoying and couldn’t focus enough to ignore them. So I had to put a movie on. I don’t usually nap to movies because my brain will try to follow the story instead of sleeping but with certain movies napping is a necessary defense mechanism. I put on Aeon Flux with Charlize Theron. It worked perfectly. Try to stay awake during that one. I dare you. The story isn’t worth following even when alert so I was able to settle down and take a nice nap. So you see, bad movies are good for something.

A pretty good week for me at the comic shop. I bought five comics, Jack Staff 10, Conan 28, Rex Mundi 18, Fear Agent 4, and Fell 5. The first three are regulars and I have read one other issue of Fear Agent. Fell is new to me but I have heard good things about it. It is a Warren Ellis book and I find he runs hot and cold so I’ll let you know what I think.

Strange Girl from two weeks a go gets a reluctant thumbs down from me. I bought issues seven and eight. Seven was a fill in story and I liked it. The art was good and the story okay. Issue eight was the third part of a continuing story and, once again, the art was good (a different artist than seven) but the story left me cold. Strange Girl was in the middle of a big battle and not a very interesting one at that. Next issue the original artist of the series (not either of the ones who drew seven or eight) comes back and I’m not fond of his work so I won’t be buying anymore Strange Girl. Neither issue was bad so I am reluctant to give it a bad review.

Magician: Apprentice 1 from last week also gets a thumbs down. It also wasn’t really bad but magician’s apprentice stuff has been done to death and the first issue had nothing in it to make it stand out to me.

I still have not joined the Illuminati. Can you believe it? I’m beginning to despair that I ever will. These world dominating secret societies are a hard nut to crack especially if you don’t know where they hang out. It could be anywhere but according to some it is Bohemian Grove in California. At least they have a party there once a year. I figure if there are internet sites devoted to it they are not the real Illuminati. The real Illuminati are way to clever for that. I bet they have their meeting in the house of a guy who is trying to sneak into Bohemian Grove. The crasher sneaks off to California and the Illuminati raid his fridge, dip his toothbrush in the toilet and have a good laugh at the crasher’s expense. That’s how I’d do it.

I know what I need. Some positive visualization. When I close my eyes I have to picture myself as a member of the Illuminati. I see myself at a country estate, no, scratch that, I’m in a sky scraper somewhere in Manhattan. I’m in a large room with no windows because we don’t want anyone looking in. The room is furnished with a bunch of antiques and no modern equipment because this is the room where my fellow Illuminati members and I decide the fate of millions and we do it old school. No phones, no faxes and no pesky listening devices to blow our cover. I bet we even have an EMP generator to foil all electronics. I think there would be secret entrances and exits to the building so no one would be able to tell who we are. Not just dark tinted limos but secret tunnels.

Only men would be in the room because who has ever heard of a coed secret society? Someone would shoot their mouth of if there was a divorce. I can hear it now, “What do you mean you get to keep the secret society? I went way more often so I get to keep it”. That would only end with one party spilling the beans out of spite, “Now neither of us has a secret society. So there.” The only kind of coed secret society has to be a sex club รก la “Eyes Wide Shut”. I’m sure as a member of the Illuminati I wouldn’t need to join a sex club because I could just snap my fingers and have women sent up to my hotel room. The Illuminati must spend a lot of time in fancy hotels. I’m not sure why but I think ruling the world involves a fair bit of traveling. Only one or two Illuminati would stay home all the time and rule from home base. I’d be hands on. You have to travel the world to rule it. I’d stay in only the best hotels where only the best concierges would tend to my every want. I wouldn’t really trust them, of course. We Illuminati know the difference between insiders and outsiders.

If I joined the Illuminati, pardon me, when I join the Illuminati (positive visualization) I’ll probably learn to smoke cigars too. A real secret society atmosphere is created by cigar smoke. If I entered some random room and it smelled of cigars, the good kind not the stinky kind, I’d wonder what kind of meeting went on in there. Of course no stranger would wander by our meeting room ever because it would be reserved just for our meetings. So you will never know that I learned to smoke cigars.

I’m sure that ruling the world through a secret society won’t be easy. All of us world rulers have massive egos and maybe some competing interests so there will be arguments and passions should run high. But we would have to settle things peacefully because we can’t afford unwanted attention. Ruling the world is tricky business. Hmmm, it sound kind of like organized crime. But we would be above the law and technically not criminals. Nice.

I don’t know if any of the Illuminati would ever read this because I don’t imagine any of them ever go onto the internet. Why would they? They are all super rich and have their every need handled by a staff of hundreds. I wouldn’t go on the internet. I’d just nod my head and things would happen. I wouldn’t have to look anything up because I would know everything: who shot JFK, where the aliens landed, what happened to the perpetual motion machine and why the New York Jets always lose.

There would have to be a sense of history among the Illuminati. A sense of, “we’ve done this before and we’ll be doing this forever”. Elders would pass down information to the younger guys they are mentoring keeping alive the old victories to inspire new ones. It would all seem so congenial and comforting emphasizing that we all belong to something bigger. Well, not you all, just me and my Illuminati buddies. You all would just be puppets dancing on our strings. If we payed attention to you at all. Bwwa-ha-ha-ha-ha.

Just back from the comic shop and I bought four comics this week.

Jonah Hex #7: This series has been a lot of fun with good art and some nice writing. They have all been one issue stories and that is fine with me because there has been more story than in six issues of most comics.

Ex-Machina #20: A solid series but sometimes the art is distracting. I think it is because the artist uses photo reference for everything. That isn’t bad in and of itself but there seems to be a lot of ham acting by his models going on. The characters are constantly making broad gestures with their hands, arms and faces. The series is about an ex-super-hero mayor of NYC so it is mostly about running the city and there is a lot of talking. That means there is barely a panel without a character waving his hands wildly. Someone is going to lose an eye. It is a good series otherwise.

Red Prophet #2: I liked #1 so I bought #2.

Magician: Apprentice #1: By the same company that publishes Red Prophet so I thought I would give it a try. It is adapted from the book by Raymond Feist which I have never read.

Why does life have to seem so long one day and so short the next? Can’t time get its act together? I’m tired of this “time is relative” crap. I need some consistency in my universe! If there are no rules at all people will start eating ice cream for breakfast. Madness will ensue.